Shark Boy

One of my students wanted to change his English name. He was Daniel. I habitually and accidentally called him Danny. He told the other teacher he wanted a new name and they began running through options. Daniel was not convinced that "Rupert" is popular and after a variety of facetious suggestions by the instructor agreed to "Shark Boy". This became the topic of discussion in the teacher's room and we decided he should spell it "shrkboi". I got to spend the class calling on Shark Boy. It was kinda fun.

Boot to the Head

My legs are swimming in pain after 4 hours of taekwondo. I'm also going to be severely bruised because I had to do blocking exercises with Maren, the East German swim team of taekwondo. She's been doing it like 10 years and has the diamond hard bone and teutonic structure of a true German. I would under no circumstances f*ck with her.

Graffiti

We have a slight problem with graffiti at the school. Students write on the walls and on the desks both in class and out. It's very frustrating for many reasons - one student wrote POLY = Hell on the wall, which is saddening. I keep forgetting to take a picture but in one classroom someone drew a circle, an arrow to the circle, and "booger?" In two classes I have seen students erasing doodles during class and I have informed them that if I catch anyone writing on the desks they will get not one study hall (detention) but study hall for an eternity. Then, because comprehension and vocabulary are so important, I say, "who can tell me what 'eternity' means?" There's always at least one student who knows the synonym 'forever' and I compliment them on their excellent vocabulary and remind them that they will get to experience eternity if I catch them writing on the desks.

Things I have done recently:
*Attended a meeting for volunteers for an organization that helps Korean victims of sex trafficking (the Dasi Hamkke Center)
*Attended a Taekwondo for foreigners club
*Tried norebang (Korean karaoke)
*Failed norebang
*Edited a piece for the Dasi Hamkke Center
*Discovered that vodka watermelons are a complete fabrication, a myth of the internet that cannot actually be made (I had a damned melon with a gaping wound full of vodka in my fridge for 36 hours to no effect)
*Drunkenly practiced my Korean with the front desk ladies at a party and discovered they think I'm mean because I scowl a lot - I look angry when I plan lessons I guess
*Developed a crush
*Acquired a vast array of Hello Kitty magnets from male coworkers who are now ahead of me in collecting (I don't purchase beer or cigarettes with as much regularity)

Adorable Sycophantry

I Am Awesome (or Just Scary)

A few notes:

1) Bizarrely fashion-obsessed aspiring coworker was reading a student's paper wherein the student said that fashion in Seoul is 10 years ahead of the rest of the world. Coworker read this aloud disdainfully and snorted. Then I pointed out that if the adage that fashion cycles every 20 years is correct then the student could be right.

2) I am bestest teacher evar. Or I'm supremely frightening. I've had a few chances to see coworkers handling their classes and I have come to the conclusion that mine are, on average, the best behaved. Also, when I tell other classes what to do they listen. I can cause a hushed silence just by walking into the GTK classroom and handing out Significant Looks (and I don't even teach those kids!). I don't think I'm supremely frightening because my students ask me questions and will interact with me outside of the classroom but I'm leaving that as a possibility.

3) I have tipped off an obsession with Hello Kitty magnets from the 7-11. You get one for every $4 you spend so now I've bought wine, whiskey, and other things I won't consume in an effort to collect more national magnets. Three other coworkers are in on it now. It's dangerously addictive.

A Great Escape

I look forward to leaving Asia and no longer being mocked for my ethnicity. Tonight while I was out running two high-school aged Korean boys jogged behind me for an extended period of time laughing and making comments to each other. This would never happen to a foreign male and would certainly not happen were I Korean. I find it irritating and senseless. I ignored them until they finally broke away. They called "goodbye" and I replied, "I love you too!" as I do whenever I see clear evidence that I am the subject of discussion.

A few weeks ago while I was waiting for the interminably long light to change to cross to work a girl on the opposite side of the street began imitating me while I stretched. After several minutes of this I stopped stretching and began doing the chicken dance. These little moments shouldn't matter but they are tiresome. I don't like being the object of ridicule solely because I am white as it would never occur to me to mock them for being Asian.

I realized the depth of my need to get away from Asia this morning while pondering my late summer trip to Hawaii. I was not dreaming of beautiful flora and fauna. I did not imagine myself on a wonderful sandy beach. I do not long to lose myself in tropical breezes. The solace I found in thinking about Hawaii was this: I might be able to find my preferred brand of feminine hygiene product. I'm goin' to Hawaii and I'm not settling for HomePlus brand tampons!!

The Noble Moose

"Weird" Al Yankovic's Canadian Idiot

O Canada, with on screen lyrics!

Mange mes brief! O Canada en francais!

PS, please forgive the illogical or senseless bits of the video. I'm blaming illness and wine for all failures to amuse.