Say What You Will About the Tenets of National Socialism...

It's two am on Saturday and I have just finished putting together the first draft of my Power Point presentation for the workshop. Let's review the timeline on that:
*March: Inform director & other boss lady, in presence of immediate superiors, that I would like to give a presentation.
*June/July: Contact HR, head campus, and bosses again stating that I would like to present at the workshop.
*Mid-August: Present ideas to head campus and, again, state that I would like to be a presenter.
*Wednesday (2 wks later): Receive confirmation that I will be presenting, with no additional details, at 9pm.
*Thursday: Receive list of requirements, including a bio deadline of noon Fri. (the following day) and a presentation draft outline by Mon., late in the evening.
*Friday (today): Spend morning writing stupid 3rd person bio and re-org. materials into vaguely workable outline for approval by superiors. Work on PPT* from 10pm - 2am minus one hour for consultation with GWU Career Svcs. re: resume/jobs.

When I initially proposed presenting at the workshop it was because the presentations I had witnessed were horrible. I felt I had wasted money I hadn't even spent. Imagine being on an overseas flight where the only movies are by the cast of MTV's Jackass or undergraduate film/poetry students; that's what it was like, except at the end of it I was still in Korea. So then, in my naive youth, I wanted to make things better, to be a shining beacon, to contribute to the greater hagwon community.

After months of stagnation and frustration I stopped thinking about the needs of my colleagues and started thinking of the presentation as resume fodder. I blindly pursued the opportunity while thinking of bullet points and action words.

Now, I have reached some sort of nihilistic stage. I feel that I have passed through the veil of cynicism into some meta-cynical realm wherein I work hard and try to do everything just right simply to prove that it is a pointless endeavor. My very being is dedicated to showing by example that it doesn't matter what you do. I'm going to get a ferret, a German accent, and somebody's toe.

*I totally just saw an invisible bug walk away from the mouse. Perhaps it's bedtime...