False Analogy!

A good friend sent me a collection of songs, recently. Among them was Rhianna's Shut Up and Drive, which I happen to like. Despite enjoying the song there is one part that always irks me. The best I can do to express this is to provide the lyrics of the song with the subtext deciphered, in italics, for your benefit.

[Verse 1]
I've been looking for a driver who's qualified
I am available
So if you think that you're the one step into my ride
If you both consider yourself available and sexually adept you should approach me
I'm a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine
With a sunroof top and a gangster lean
I am extremely well built and, like a car, have additional features you should appreciate

[Bridge]
So if you feel me let me know, know, know
If you are sexually interested you should articulate these feelings
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for
Quickly
My engine's ready to explode, splode, splode
I am highly volatile and potentially deadly
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go
Attempt to arouse me and enjoy the show

[Chorus]
Got you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
I will have sex with you
Got a ride that's smoother than a limosine
I am not sexually awkward and will not accidentally knee you in the crotch mid-coitus
Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
Are you capable of smelling what the Rock is cookin'?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night
Again, if you are able to meet the aforementioned requirements, I am sexually available

Cos I'm 0 to 60 in three point five
I am extremely easy to arouse
Baby you got the keys-

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)
You should proposition me immediately

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)


[Verse 2]
I got class like a 57 Cadillac
I have enormous headlights, if you catch my meaning
Got all the drive but a whole lot of boom in the back
While I have a high metabolism I can assure you that I have taken Sir Mix-a-Lot's advice regarding the retention of my booty
You look like you can handle whats under my hood
You appear to have working opposable thumbs and other vital body parts for sexual activity
You keep saying that you will boy I wish you would
I enthusiastically accept your prior mention of sexual congress

[Bridge]
So if you feel me let me know, know, know
If you are on the same wavelength regarding a desire to fornicate please indicate this on Form B, Section 38
Come on now what you waiting for, for, for
There is a deadline for your application
My engine's ready to explode, splode, splode
I won't be ignored, Dan
So start me up and watch me go, go, go, go
Buy me a drink, it will be repaid

[Chorus]
Got you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
I am a sure thing
Got a ride that smoother than a limosine
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
Are you ambidextrous? Does breaking the law turn you on?
If you can baby boy then we can go all night
I am a nymphomaniac

Cos I'm 0 to 60 in three point five
If you are a one-minute man, that is OK
Baby you got the keys-
On a Freudian level I wish to imply that your possession of wang is the focus of my current discourse

Now shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)
I feel that you are bit slow on the uptake and I feel I should reiterate that I want to have sex with you

Shut up and drive
(drive, drive, drive)
No strings attached

Cos you play the game, got what I got (Get it Get it)
You are clearly at this bar for a reason, as am I
Don't Stop It's a sure shot
I will have sex with you
Aint no ferrari huh boy I'm sorry
My prices are not high
I ain't even worried
And negotiable
So step inside and ride
(ride, ride, ride, ride, ride...)
Have I mentioned my intense interest in sexual intercourse?